Alternate Title: Once a Father
06-20-26
Editorial by Michael Robinson
Top Image: Lewis Robinson
Mentioning Mother’s Day is fast approaching is like someone saying, “jump” and many will answer, “How high?” Mention Father’s Day in the same vein, and you will get some snickers or sneers. In one’s early childhood, mothers take the role of nurturer. Fathers, on the other hand, are often seen as stoic or as “the heavy” in the household, enforcing rules and making sure the chores and homework gets done. Sadly, many fathers aren’t around the home at all because of a divorce or abandonment or an early passing.
As an early teen, I struggled in school and at report card time was a time I dreaded. Dad expected A’s and B’s. I brought home C’s and a few D’s, Dad kept saying I had the ability to do much better. Back in the 70’s and early 80’s, learning disabilities like ADHD and Dyslexia were not considered. A kid falling short academically was chalked up to “Lazy Student Syndrome.”
If there is a parent in the home with a severe mental illness that also adds a detrimental factor to a student’s success.
Overbearing fathers who are too stern with their teenage sons can result in deep resentment.
If I see a young adult in real life or in the movies that seems maladjusted, I sometimes think, “overbearing dad.”
Strict dads that go too far are sadly commonplace in movies and real life. Movies like The Dead Poet’s Society, The Great Santini, and Ragamuffin are three movies that have messed-up dads in them.
A highlight of the week for me was riding with dad on a Friday night to pick up two large Pizzas from Pizza Inn or Ken’s Pizza. We’d get there and he’d pull out his wallet and pull out a “working man’s $20 bill” to cover the damages.
In my early teen years, my dad got so frustrated with me he told me I’d end up in prison because I wasn’t earning good grades in school: That really hurt me.I wasn’t a trouble maker. I just struggled in school.
At 59, and thankfully never ended up in prison, yet those words left a deep scar in me.
My father grew up in a dysfunctional and troubling household. My dad bore deep psychological scars from his dad. My dad was imperfect and scarred to
Despite this, my dad, like other dads, worked hard and sacrificed to make sure we had a roof over our heads, clothing on our backs and food on the table. On many evenings, he put on a baseball glove and played catch with me in the front yard before dinner.
My father suffered with terrible migraine headaches so debilitating there were countless days he stayed in bed in a dark room. Because he worked in my Grandfather Burl (my grandfather on my mother’s side of the family) business, he was able to keep his job.
My dad spent time with me, but it sadly wasn’t always enough. Oftentimes, he was so damned tired from working even the few moments he could offer were a sacrifice.
Later when dad was in his 40’s when my grandfather’s business faltered, my dad looked for work. Despite possessing a brilliance for mathematics, engineering and structural design, my dad got looked over for jobs because of age discrimination and the fact he didn’t have a degree. Things eventually worked out but that was a hard reality that dad faced. My dad was a working-class guy with no affluent family or country club connections to bail him out.
In a way, my Dad stood as a buffer between us and the hardness of the world.
Thankfully, in my adult years, my dad and I found common ground. We had thoughtful conversations about life, Star Trek TNG, politics and many other topics either in person, over the phone or via email.
At the end of our conversations, we felt like all the world’s problems were addressed only to see that by the next weekend, the problems remained.
In my dad’s late 60’s and early 70’s my dad got sick with colon cancer and pulmonary fibrosis. Over many months, my dad grew progressively weaker. It was hard to bear, My dad passed away in December 2014.
I love my Dad and miss him dearly.
My dad left a scrap piece of paper with my name on it and things he wanted to do with me: Go to the old glass plant in my hometown of Fort Smith and go rock hounding were on the list. Sadly we didn’t get to do them in his living years.
While Fathers Dad rings hollow for many, I don’t think any one day could truly honor good fathers. Dads are the glue that holds everything together and glue sadly doesn’t receive the recognition it deserves.
If your dad is still alive, take the time now to mend fences or make the effort to forgive dad for the mistakes he made as a father. He likely has or had it much harder than you realize.
