By: Stan Popovich

   It can be frustrating to struggle with your mental health and to get your family and friends to understand where you are coming from.

   Although most people may be understanding, there is usually one or two people who will make things more challenging for you.

   As a result, here are six suggestions on how to deal with the people you know regarding your mental health situation.

1. Listen to the professionals: Your friends may mean well, but when it comes down to it, the professionals are aware of your circumstances more than anyone. It is important that you listen and follow the advice from your doctor or medical professional rather than following the advice from your friends and other people you may know.

2. Don’t argue with others: It is important that you do not get into arguments with those who are giving you a tough time. It is not your job to worry about how others may view your circumstances. Focus on managing your mental health rather than trying to get everyone’s approval.

3. Choose your friends wisely: Distance yourself from those who won’t make an effort to help understand what you are going through. You need to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If you have problems or issues with a particular person, then its best to keep your distance and hang out with those people are more supportive.

4. Attend a mental health support group: There are many mental health awareness support groups in any given area. Many hospitals, churches, and counselors in your area will be able to provide you with a list of these organizations. These groups will be aware of your situation and can give you additional advice regarding your concerns.

5. You are not alone: There are millions of people around the world who struggle with their fears, anxieties, and depression. Many of your relatives and friends more than likely struggled with anxiety and stress sometime in their life. Do not feel that you are alone when it comes to your mental health situation because there all kinds of people around you who can relate.

6. Your goal is to get better: Focus on how you can handle the anxieties and stresses in your life rather than arguing with others who are giving you a difficult time. This isn’t a public relations event where you need to get approval from everyone. This is your life, and you need to be more concerned about getting your life back on track rather than pleasing everyone else.

BIOGRAPHY
Stan is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear” which covers a variety of techniques that can drastically improve your mental health. For more information, please visit Stan’s website at http://www.managingfear.com

  I cannot remember a time that I was afraid of guns or gun violence.

  I grew up in Virginia in the 70s, so we were left alone as latchkey kids to think and feel – and do – pretty much whatever we wanted as children. On top of that, I  was raised by a very Republican, radically Pentecostal, single mother who worked all the time and literally dragged me to church at least at least 3 times a week.

  We had guns in our house – or at least my brother did, and I had no fear that I would be hurt, or I would hurt anyone else with those weapons. They were in the closet or under my brother’s bed, and of course leaning against the wall behind his bedroom door. Almost all my neighborhood friends had guns in their houses. And most of my family members had a gun or two in their homes, too.

  I was not afraid of guns.

  I am still not afraid of guns. I am not afraid of holding one, shooting one, hunting with one, or thinking that I might need one to protect myself from some random intruder with one, but for the first time in my life I am keenly aware of what a gun can do to a fourth grader.

  When I think of fourth grade, I think of my first year in public school. I think of my teacher, Mrs. Woodby, and how she smoked those long Virginia Slims in the classroom and read to us everyday from the King James. I went home from school every day smelling like I had been out all night at the bar with a good story about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego ruminating in my head.

  What I don’t remember about fourth grade was being killed. Shot in the face. Dead.

Now here we are six months after the Robb Elementary Shooting in Uvalde, Texas. An assault style gun was used to kill 19 children, two teachers, and injured 15 others.

  These guns that mowed down these precious souls were purchased legally. The person who bought them was young, troubled, not living with his parents, had dropped out of school, angry, and was known by his handle, “school shooter” on social media. This young person did not buy the guns to hunt or protect his home  – he bought them to kill humans. And now we know it was mostly little humans.

  So ask me now how I feel about guns…

  I feel like our state government is failing us by not passing laws that would restrict and control the sale of – not outlaw – assault weapons. Raise the age to purchase to 21 and institute red flag laws. If you sell guns, why not institute your own red flag policies. I am sure you can have a lawyer figure that out for you.

  I feel like our school district, our school police, our city police, our city government, our county sheriffs department, some state law enforcement just absolutely failed this community and none of them, not individually or collectively, has the spine enough to stand up, take responsibility for their personal and professional failures and fucking resign. Go sell cars, but leave the protection of humans to the brave. Yall are not brave. If we need parking meter attendants, we will be sure to call.

  I feel like we all feel sad, tortured even for the lives that were lost, but we certainly do not feel bad enough for anyone to lose their jobs because they choked on duty. We have a lot of “forgive him” or “he tried” or “there’s still more information out there that will exonerate mijo” attitudes out there that are insulating these law enforcement officers from feeling badly about not protecting or serving little kids.

  I feel like everyone, including me, have made huge, life changing mistakes along the way in this life, and the consequences are real, swift, and even harsh. Did these local law enforcement officers even get a letter in their HR file? The audacity that exists amongst our local law enforcement personnel is at a level I believe a good dose of humility and self-awareness would help cure. I want the cops in the Robb Elementary hallway to not have guns anymore.

  This is how I feel about guns.

LeighLatrelle@gmail.com