Day Fifty-Eight, After
The ones that matter most are the children. They are the true human beings. – Lakota Proverb
I apologize for being quiet so long. I’ve been watching the fall out of the past few weeks. Protests, Video, Report, City Council and School Board Meetings … I’ve watched the media come in and film it all, report on it all, make money from it all. I’ve seen a local business harassed for charging regular price to do their business, school officials’ family members mocked, people disappointing others for not protesting or attending meetings … the list goes on.
If you are like me, you feel caught between opposing emotions, actions, thoughts, and opinions. I admire the protesters for their conviction but understand those who don’t want to protest. I realize that the memorials in the Downtown Plaza brought comfort to some but can relate to the person who spoke of relief from having memorials removed because “maybe she could drive by without crying now.” I wanted to watch the video but then heard the pleas of the families not to watch it, so I honored their requests only to be bombarded with segments of it on FB or the Nightly News. I’ve cheered for those families who have spoken so eloquently in Washington DC and passionately at the July 11th protest yet grieved with the parents who condemned the leak of the video, which made them feel as if it were a repeat of “that day.” I sympathized with the righteous anger of the family members while crying silent tears with those who just wanted to grieve privately.
Yes, Uvalde has become a bundle of disconnectedness – emotions, actions, thoughts and opinions – that we juggle daily. We walk on eggshells every single day. We try not to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, act out the wrong thing. Personally, I try hard “not to write the wrong thing”. How do I balance what I put on paper with the fear of upsetting someone who I really want to help with my words? It’s exhausting! I write and rewrite. I can only imagine what our community officials are going through, trying to do the right thing, and finding out it is the wrong thing for some citizens (case in point: memorials downtown). You cannot win!
And if you make the mistake of thinking everyone is agreeing with you, you’ve not won either because there are friends, neighbors, coworkers who don’t condone the “happenings” going on in our town presently. They grieve over, even fear, the anger that spells out onto local people, businesses, entities. And anger, while part of the grief process – and, if you haven’t noticed, that is where our community is in the process – cannot be allowed to run amok within Uvalde for long. Yes, we agree that consequences have results, and there will be those who will be fired, charged with a crime, or reprimanded. But that can be done calmly and succinctly. Lord knows the multitude of misdeeds, misjudgments, mistakes are readily available for us all to see and read.
One cannot help but feel many of us are seeking grace during this time. And not just any grace, but Great Grace. In Acts 4: 32-37 (NIV) the early church worked together and there was “great grace.” (Some versions say, “God’s Grace.”) The new Christians sold what they had to help others with their needs (2nd case in point: all the wonderful gifts our community is receiving now from people we have never met!). One man, Joseph, was so giving he was renamed Barnabas or “Son of Encouragement.” I want to encourage like Barnabas! And I want to receive Great Grace … I want its abundance and overflow, its healing and restoration, its selflessness and sharing, its warm hugs and loving embrace. And most importantly, I want its divine forgiveness.
I want to be able to forgive all the wrongs. And I want to be forgiven for all my wrongs. The anger will abate one day, but like a fire, if we keep feeding it, it will never leave our community. Yet grace … Great Grace … helps us get through it and emerge stronger. Better. The World is watching. Reporters are scribbling in their notepads and rehearsing their opening verbiage on the Nightly News, “This just in from Uvalde” (3rd case in point: it’s You-Val-Dee). You and I, together, have the power to direct their narrative because WE ARE the narrative. We choose how we will respond to the tragedy before us. Let’s, with everything we have inside us, respond with grace … Great Grace.
Let’s grab all the good coming our way (and there is a LOT of GOOD) and make Uvalde a place … a shining city on a hill … for those who will face loss, disappointment, anguish, pain someday. Our children are the ones who matter the most to us. Let’s do it for their sakes … in the memory of those we lost and for the future of those we still have.
We are #UvaldeStrong. We have to be — our children are counting on us.
